Break-Up Songs to Leave Your Job To
When you have to get creative about how to emote a new life transition
This is the part where I tell you a relatable story about a job break-up, which is mostly me burying the lede about what I really want to talk about (music)
About 5.5 years ago I had to break up with a job. It felt like a breakup because my Big Boss at the time started acting like a weird ex about it. “You’re going over there?” he said. “Let me see what I can counter.” And then proceeded to explain how the company I was going to was a joke, that they weren’t even a real player in our industry, and kept scoffing at my decisions, while simultaneously hinting he might be able to get my salary a little closer to what this new company was offering.
Insert every awful heteronormative meme of, “Ladies, if he wanted to, he would!” But about jobs.
For 18 bucks you can buy an ugly poster commemorating that entire mood:
Anyway, I remember his negging had stirred up seeds of doubt. Was I making a mistake jumping to this company? (Fun fact: when I started at that then company people also said, “Isn’t that company doing badly? Good luck.” Which is perhaps not the best way to say, “Congratulations” to someone.)
And I remember I had this moment of clarity – a moment which I lost again and again over the years, but which I would come back to.
I thought, “I myself am enough.”
That’s right. I thought that even if I stepped into some hellhole as predicted by my ex-Big Boss that I would be enough.
It is both true that I myself am enough, and I am also only one person. You can be the best at what you do and still not succeed in shifting a failing or toxic company. Still, at the least you should believe that alone you can do many great things. But I stepped into that new company for 5.5 years, the longest I ever worked anywhere — and a bit unusual for my industry where people often shift every few years. Instead, I stayed put, changed roles, grew, managed amazing people, worked with smart people, and helped launch a product I was finally really proud of.
Often I would lose my voice, find it, lose it, and find it again with the same phrase: I myself am enough.
And when knowing you yourself are enough, you’ll know when it’s time to go.
So I’m leaving again, off to another job where I am excited about the people, the work, the company. If you follow me on LinkedIn (why would you do that) you’ll learn more about what I’m up to and also get to see me post in what can only be described as my Customer Service Voice.
What I’m doing next is not the point of this particular newsletter.
The point is to tell you that actually break-up songs are really good for work break-ups, especially if you’re a big emo baby like I am about change.
Below is a starter list of songs that will help you realize if you mentally change the lyrics a little you can be as dramatic as Taylor Swift crawling on a table during the Eras tour, knocking stuff over like a cat while staring at an indifferent man (the Man???). Let’s begin.
Do you have a co-dependent relationship with your company even though it’s no longer good for you? But you’ve just been doing it so long, it’s like, eh, I guess we’ll die together?
“365” by Waxahatchee
Are you feeling bad about leaving but starting to get a glimmer of hope? That maybe, even though you’re Big Sad about parting, good times might be on the horizon?
“Tough Enough” by Ex Hex
Actually, is it kinda hilarious when things fall apart?
“Dearly Departed” by Shakey Graves featuring Esmé Patterson
And is it hard to leave because you’re feeling like a villain — all the projects and people left behind, all those loose ends? But then you’re like, I guess I’ll just have to be a little evil?
“Dream Girl Evil” by Florence + the Machine
And are they making a counteroffer? According to instagram, if they had wanted to before, they would have already. Just look at the 18 dollar poster you have hanging over your standing desk.
“Don’t Call Me” by the Highwomen
But then at the end of two weeks, you put your sunglasses on, and you walk out that door leaving behind a laptop with a startling collection of weird stickers.
“Get Out of My House,” by Miya Folick
Good.
Live, Laugh, Let Go, or whatever the saying is.
Some More Playlists For Your Awful Moods
That’s just a taste to get you started.
Fortunately, because I’m entirely bonkers in the past I have made playlists for when you get laid off by work and an increasingly lengthy breakup playlist which I’ve just modified through real-life breakups. So don’t say I’ve never given you nothing to cry about.
Also, actually, I have a playlist for when you hate your job because of patriarchy. I find it particularly soothing to listen to after, for instance, hypothetically, a man complains to your boss that you keep having opinions. Just crank that!
Happy breaking up with whatever you need to! Remember, you yourself are enough*
*unless you are against oppressive interlocking systems that would seek to deny your full humanity, but even still, Businss Woman, I want you to show the eff up. Sometimes there’s just no other choice.
LYLAS,
Miranda